Slowpoke

Hahahahaha I'm really damn slow omg. Yesterday during the dinner with the guys, we talked about those ghost picture pranks, like video about baby and the face suddenly turns creepy. Like your friends send you a link and when you click it, that creepy picture just pop up and fill up your entire computer screen with the stupid but loudest scream you'd ever heard coz you turn on your comp's volume too high.

I mentioned about Hoa once sent me a link for online game and when I won the round 5, this creepy thing pop out with the scream *and I was with my earpiece*

So Ys mentioned about this prank where the face will pop out while you read a comic. I thought that it was quite a creative idea coz I've never heard of it before, so I asked him to send me the link. But I totally forgotten about that.

This morning I saw Ys posted this thing on my fb wall.

Yep, this one

So I was like, uh? What's with that picture? and what is that "cute" referring to? I thought that he was trying to be random or something, but I don't get what he meant. So I replied this.

up to this point, I still didn't get what he meant

I was like "uhhh? why JY? Why Ys so random??" Though I didn't understand, I just played along with him.
Then at night, I saw Jy's reply for the post.

up to this point, you should know what's the link about

Again, I was like "what??? why these ppl so weird today? what bad feeling? It's just a picture of a guy what. And I show you a picture, but you mentioned 'watch' out of nowhere. What toking you???"

After that, I decided to click on the link once again and scroll all the way down. At first I thought it was nothing coz all the words are in Korean, and I don't understand a shit. I realised that it's a series of comic but the bell didn't ring yet. So I just kept on pressing the arrow key on my keyboard and then the screen came to a stop where this bloody face pop out.

We have a badass here 

And I was like WHAT THE FUCK???? I was stunt for a moment and LOL-ed after that. HAHAHAHAHA. Now then I remember about what Ys said LOL. So I went to reply Jy's comment and told them about how slow I was LOLOLOL. Fooled. Totally. 

Now I know why Ys mentioned about Jy there, coz Jy is super scared of these types of scenes LOL

Then I went back to the page as I thought that the comic hasn't ended yet, and indeed.

Here comes the next next screen LOL

Hahahahaha Nice one. I was speechless. Though I know that the picture alone wasn't scary at all, but I was really scrolling down without any preparation or anticipation for something like this. At all. LOL

Alright, so that's the end of my story for tonight. For those who want to experience the whole thing personally, feel free to click on the link below. and. ENJOY! :D

http://comic.naver.com/webtoon/detail.nhn?titleId=350217&no=20&weekday=tue

Nights! Sweet Dreams~ 

The Red Day

Alright, so the title of this post is actually referring to the first day of my period for this month. This morning, I woke up feeling slightly wet and uncomfortable. So I went to washroom to check and indeed, my "great-aunt" came to greet me. Immediately, I felt the menstrual pain and I swear, this could be the second time I've ever felt so pain throughout all my periods before. So, I immediately grabbed  a slice of bread and just stuff it into my mouth so that I could eat some painkillers. 

What makes me feel sian even more was the fact that I actually got an appointment to smooth-rebond my hair, which means I need to go out early and sit at the salon for at least 4hrs? 

Alright, double sian.

In the afternoon, I texted few ppl like Crystal and Hoa for dinner but both of them had plans at night. So, I tried my luck texting Edmund since we had not have dinner together with Jq, Ys, Jy and Sx for superrrrr long time, miss them so much. And yeap, they all agreed, whooooo! :D

Before I went to Edmund's house, I bought bread from BreadTalk and forced myself to eat again so that I could have the second round of painkillers. (It was really pain, okay?)

Had a wonderful evening cacthing up with all their jokes about their classmates and school. Other poly seems to have much interesting as compared to NP and in fact, there's no funny stories about our classmates that Jq and I could share. But nvm, it was a very enjoyable evening. Seriously, I could say that nothing is more enjoyable than to be with this crazy bunch of people I've known in Secondary school. *ohhh I miss those days*

Reached home around 10pm+ after buying lots of sanitary pads from Shop & Save. I can really open up a shop and sell all my sanitary pads man, I've got different brands and different lengths, that's exaggerating I know, but since I haven't found a really suitable ones to stick with, what to do? :o

I just realised that the pain was getting stronger as I reach home, for whatever reason, so I asked my aunt for painkillers as mine wasn't effective enough, today. (Just for today)

So I proceed to the store room to dig out all the sanitary pads I have and I found this! 

Present from Crystal during her Taiwan trip!

Hahahaha, and tell you what, the things that I'm going to share below will be a super epic joke that I've ever created! You'll rank me as the stupidest idiot you've ever known in your life! LOLOLOL

Yeah, it's a sanitary pad packaging. I really had never doubted that packaging before, and because it was really soft when I pressed down, I've always thought that it's a pack of sanitary pads!

So when Crystal gave it to me, I was like "uh??? sanitary pads???" 

*LOL, for that moment, I thought that Crystal was really the cutest girl I've ever know, Hahahahaha REALLYYYY* 

Hmmm, come to think of it, I've never opened it before, I didn't even know about the size and the length of the pads inside. I wonderrrrrr.

But before I opened it up, I started to really observing carefully the packaging because I thought it was really nicely decorated. Then, I realised sth amiss. Uhhhh? Expiry date???  What's next? 

WHATTTT? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? NUTRITION FACTS?

I was like WHATTT? ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS? Since when does sanitary pad "nutritious"??? UHHHH????

My phone camera was lousy, so I decided to type it out

Then I started to analyse every single chinese word carefully and I saw 棉花糖 and I was like LOLOLOL ROFL LMAO OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING MAN, OMG CRYSTALLLLL OMG HOW DUMB I WAS!!!!! 

And she gave it to me like 2 months ago? I've not opened up coz I thought I'd only be able to use it when my period come, LOLOLOLOL

Inside was so cute LOLOLOL

Marshmallow! :)

HHAHAHAHAHA I still cannot believe how stupid I am, really! Sorry Crystal, for 辜负 your present LOLOL and thanks! 别致的包装，甜在心里! Hahahahaha

If my period never come, I might not have ever opened this up, will I?

I bet Crystal will be laughing mad reading this post.

Super stupid joke for the night LOL. What a stupid me. XDDDDD

Outcast

P.S. before you start to read this post, don't read if you are Vanessa or Jocelyn (I know you guys don't stalk me, but just in case there's such thing called coincidence), coz this blog is the only place where I can really say my 真心话 already, idk where to go if I cannot do it here. I don't want any of you to feel bad or backstabbed or angry coz of the things I'm going to say. It's just my PMS period again.

Alright, then I shall start saying what I really want to rant about.

I don't like this. I really really don't like this feeling. The feeling of being an outcast, outsider, being extras, these feelings are back. 

I thought I've found the clique that can really last for my next 2 years in NP, but I doubt that it will last long too. Lately my female friends in my class have started making friends with the guys, R created this whatsapp thing. whatsapp. I'm so anti whatsapp already. Why can't I afford a phone with whatsapp? Why do I have to work so hard but still worry about money? Why am I not born in a better family? Why unlucky things always happen on me? Why am I always the one being forgotten, being outcast, being sacrificed among my friends?

Okay, let's talk about whatsapp. That's the main reason of why I was being left out in TA30. I really really hate how they are focused only in their own jokes which I do not understand and no one bother to explain to me coz it's a long story for me to understand. If I got whatsapp, I'll know. 

That time they went for outing without even informing me and they called it a class outing. "class" uh you say??? I didn't fucking know a shit about it. Karin told me "uh? u don't know meh? I thought they got say in whatsapp?" I gave her that look and replied "how would I know? since when do I have whatsapp?" and she gave me that guilty look. 

Now, this class is creating whatsapp group again. All their inner jokes, their whatever zoos, whatever papi mami thingy, no I DON'T UNDERSTAND. Why must mankind create phone? Why not like last time where youngsters foster their friendships through outdoor bonding, face-to-face contact? Why must there be phone,  whatsapp created which result in ppl who cannot afford those luxury stuff being outcast? Okay, it's not a luxurious thing for you to own iPhone, Samsung galaxy, blackberry alright? but for me, just by signing Sony experia contract, I need to make sure I've got enough pay to support that monthly payment okay? For the sake of those whatsapp and friends thingy? No, I don't have parents to support my expenses, they cannot okay, I don't want to increase their burden but I increase my own, but where does this burden really come from? I know, my friends didn't force me to buy smartphones but who wants to be left out? This feeling is terrible kay? Sometimes I really hate the fact of how poor I am. Why can't I be like the rest, just 伸手要钱 from parents? R complained about how she think that she's being treated like maid to do housework, but what's the big deal of housework? we are adults, we are suppose to help for this thing isn't it? I do housework kay? I do housework everyday when I'm still in Indonesia kay? Now it's even worse, you can imagine how I handwash my clothes myself, iron my clothes, sweep the floor, etc etc etc + regular work. Yeah, they always say that I so hiong coz I work almost everyday, so yours is no big deal as compared to mine. Whenever there's overseas trip (OIP) announced, I can only let those chances being taken by others, I didn't express how I want to go so badly, but I do. I've never went once. But I don't even dare to let my mom know. 

 I hate working like a cow, sometimes I just feel like a money-making robot, but I do feel tired okay? I don't like this, I'm so tired. I'm so poor that I got no time to bond with my friends (coz I need to work), don't have smartphone to whatsapp with the rest, cannot go OIP and I miss those learning opportunities, are these reasonable reasons for me to lose most of the friends and opportunities around me?

Like when I need people to sit with me during tutorial ytd because I never do my tutorial ytd. Just that once okay, coz it's like 3 tables per row. I just wanted someone to sit with me for 1 lesson ytd, am I asking for too much? but V told me that J they all ask her to sit with them. Uh? What's this? So from the start they all want her to sit with them, knowing that there are only 3 tables. Then, where do I sit? Behind, Again.

Just want to clarify, I always sit behind, but it doesn't mean that I ENJOY SITTING BEHIND ALONE okay? I don't want to bee seen as an outcast that's why I always try to join back they all asap after each lessons end so that I can be seen as a group again. No, I don't mind sitting alone behind,really don't mind. coz I thought it'd be unreasonable to force someone to sit with me, right? unless you really take me as friend and genuinely want to sit with me. I thought by being the one sacrificing, I'll be more easy to get along with. But why everytime is ME? why must be me?

and about last week, I managed to squeeze into the inner table, so 2 tables left. I thought that V will be sitting at the last table coz R is in the toilet. But V sat behind and left that seat for R. I felt bad for V okay, I really felt bad coz I always sit behind alone, so awkwardly alone when you have a clique. R sat on that seat when she came back but moved behind after 5 mins to sit with V. I don't think V texted R or sth, that's 自动. I was like, "what exactly am I?" Now I feel so extra, extra that I want to cry sososososo much when I blog this during Bstats lesson. Because of me, V has to sit behind alone. Because of V alone, R has to move to the back to pei her. Because of this, J cannot sit with V and R, I'm very extra. 

But if they really make some changes from now on just because they know about this, I'm not going to appreciate much coz most of us can read faces, we know what's true and what's fake.

When I nv mention, it doesn't mean that I have no feeling, I  just don't want to be seen as the bad guy, but coz of this, I can only endure the pain myself. 

This morning I was late for FFA tutorial, and as expected, I sat alone again. No one texted me anymore to ask if I was otw or I just wake up or I was sick or for whatever reason I was late. But nvm okay. 

Class ended quite early today but they refused to leave the room. So I continued to sit behind quietly to see if any of them realise that I've been waiting alone since just now. I started to tweet emo stuff on twitter, but they kept on laughing with the guys. whatsapp again. When they finally stood up, no one waited for me, they just went off. I realised that I haven't even opened my mouth to talk to any of them today, but no one came to ask why am I especially quiet and anti-social today. Now I don't feel like talking to anyone today, so get lost. I feel like just leaving without saying bye to any of them when the lesson ends, but I know that I cannot, I'll still at least say bye to V, coz actually they are like so innocent. They just don't understand what's happening inside me, they don't know about my past, they don't understand how I felt when I was being treated like shit by all the friends whom I genuinely cherish so much.

I'm super exhausted, the emptiness in my heart, coz no one is genuinely showing concern around me. 

Rainy Night

So my life had been quite peaceful recently. I realised that I'm feeling better day after day, except for the fact that I haven't managed to find any suitable job on weekends. And I realised something. Once I stopped working for a while, I wish that I'll never have to work to support myself anymore. I couldn't really describe but I really love my lifestyle now. I've never been so free throughout the weekend before, nor have I ever slowed down my step to observe what's around me. 

Honestly, I couldn't believe that I'm only out of job for a mere 1mth. Alright, I know that it's not a small matter for me due to my background, but I really felt as if I've lost this job for like more than 2 mths? Amazing right? Yeah, I don't want this so-called "vacation break" to end. But, what to do? and CT is coming soon and honestly I haven't even realised how many days away from CT until I accidentally put the timetable in front of me this evening. I am feeling super anxious right now. 

This evening I was supposed to go to LT22 to help Christiana, Ys and Edmund to buy the NP shirt (none for me), but I kind of too obsessed doing BStats that I remembered nothing about that. And seriously, BStats is mind-fucking me. I'm so gonna score badly for this module but I cannot afford to.

Saw Sya's post on fb today, she just opened her bakery online shop OMG! Cannot believe that she really did that! She did show me some of her products previously and she described how she loved to bake, but this thought has never come across me where she'll really use this idea for business. This made me feel so guilty and sorry about myself. She's so hardworking and she dare to take the risk of doing sth that she has never done. and it's totally unrelated to her course. I'm a biz student, yet I'm like wasting time in poly, still figuring out what I really want to do in the future with my diploma. I don't even have the entrepreneurship and  creative ideas to survive in this biz world. I'm really scared. 

But anyway, managed to find her birthday from her blog! Hehehe. Coz she was unwilling to reveal her birthday to me the other day when we went out with JS (hehehehe you know what I'm thinking :P) but she told me that I'll be able to find out if I find hard enough. And I did it! It's on 2nd of Sept! :D I immediately saved on my phone calendar as usual. :)

Saw Christee and Elvi's convo on twitter. Christee has always been my best friend all this while but I realised sth has changed ever since she came to Singapore and study in SIM. Probably because we don't stay tgt, you see. The initial plan was so perfect where we'll rent a house tgt with the guys. Then suddenly the guys and us are separated and now even I have to go separate ways with Christee. But the thing that puzzled me is the fact where she can still contact me or text me when she's free, right? She got the time to reply all those comments on fb and chat with Elvi on twitter, yet she didn't spend any single minute to text me and ask how I'm doing. She can also ask me out or pay me a visit in NP since SIM is just beside and her house is just few miles away, right? What excuses she gonna use for that? 

I've probably been the stupidest friend who only know how to give, but no one has ever care to return anything. I really really miss her and feel like texting her but how do I even start with the first message? She probably didn't even know that I've lost my job and I've been mugging at home throughout the weekends and waiting for her message all this while. Please, just let me see this sincerity once. The sincerity of asking me out, a genuine concern. I wish. I really do. 

Attitude Problem

Alright, so the new term has started like 3 weeks ago and I've long abandoned this blog as I've been busy and life has been going on quite well after I got refreshed from the trip back to my hometown like 4 weeks ago.

I was so damn happy to have found myself a clique where I belong too. I swore to myself that I'm not going to be like last sem anymore. For THOSE ppl, I just want to clarify one last time : Hello, I'm not an anti-social, kay? Yall who think that I am, you've made a great mistake cause you are the one who don't accept me. 

In fact, I'm no longer the outcasted one in my class (at least I don't feel so). And in fact, the guys seemed to be very friendly, apparently. Because I've heard a lot of negative comments from my clique about those guys in  my current class, they are hypocrites and I should never ever trust them. 

So, generally people in this clique are good except for one which I don't want to mention the name for this moment. I think that she has got a serious attitude problem. Now I know why they described her as "serious". Okay, this is actually way more than serious, but is attitude problem a.k.a. "AP", okay? 

On the first day of our DSS tutorial, we were grouped and asked to select a team leader. My friend asked if I was okay with AP girl being the leader as she was very serious. I said "sure". Yeap, sure that she's serious, AP at the same time. We had our very first discussion which no one in our team brought laptop except for me. I was doing the part 1 of the project and she was dividing the task for our teammates. The thing is, every  parts of the project are linked. Which means, we couldn't continue the next part unless someone has finished the previous part. So my two other friends were mentioning about this thing and that AP girl argued with a damn serious tone that they can do part 2 w/o part 1 (which she was wrong). Then my friends tried to explain to her, but she just didn't get it and she got more agitated instead as you could just tell from her gl face and defensive tone. She might not have realised, but I was exchanging eye contact with Vanessa and both of us laughed awkwardly as we didn't know how to stop that so-called "argument". Thankfully, that AP girl got what they say eventually but just changed her plan w/o that guilty face or "sorry" mentioned. That gave me the first bad impression on her that she has got AP, stubborn and does not listen to others.

Secondly was about 2 days ago in DSS tutorial class. I was flipping my textbook to refer to do our class work and she sat beside me. She was asking me which one we were supposed to do and what was the instructions. Naturally, we ended up sharing the textbook and I asked "you never bring your textbook again?". She was like damn agitated and replied like this "what AGAIN?! I got bring last week hor!" Then I was like, "Oh ya, forgot. But you never opened your tb right?" Then she got even angrier and said "I got open hor! 跟你讲，我最讨厌被人家冤枉." I was like stunned and kept quiet at that time. I've always have this STM, but must someone got so frustrated over that? That wasn't even the way she should use "冤枉". Sigh. AP.

So today is Vanessa's sweet 17th birthday. We had another DSS tutorial in the morning which I did not bring my laptop cause I thought that my part was done (my bad, not completely done). So, I only realised that when she asked me if I didn't highlight the part of my work. Since she was not in charge of doing part 2, I assumed that she did not need her laptop so urgently and asked for her permission before I borrowed her laptop. I finished my work beautifully and I didn't know that I was back-stabbed till I reach home after the celebration. I somehow went to see her twitter account and discovered this one tweet. 

Bring laptop, don't get to use laptop. WTF. I bring for ppl to use. -.-

This is what I exactly copied and pasted from her tweet. So now what? You as a team  leader should be frank to your members right? I'm fine if you are not happy with me that I did not finish my part completely and I'll be more than willing to accept if you reprimand me because of that. Cause I admitted that I was irresponsible. But what are you kicking up the fuss about? It's not as if I borrowed ur laptop for my own business but it's for the sake of not delaying the team. Some more I returned you, so what's with that “ don't get to use laptop" uh? So what are you buay song about? And you willingly lent me your laptop in front of me w/o saying anything else but you tweeted stuff like that? Come on, don't be so fake man. I've seen through you.

This just led me into deeper thoughts about your attitude problem. Yesterday, when Joyce was charging her iPhone with 80% battery life, AP girl told her that we cannot charge phone unless that the battery life falls below 30% and I agreed on that. So Joyce was like "really meh?". Then AP girl started to convince her with that very serious and agitated tone as she had damaged her own battery before because of that. Then I was  so awkward due to her tone and Joyce stopped her and say "okay okay, relax lah" (with awkward smile).  AP girl did not even say "sorry" or anything like that. That awkward smile, yeah I totally feel it.

On top of that, we went to K-Box just now. After Joyce and Vanessa left, there was like 6 pages of song queued and we were left with 30 mins time. So AP girl kept on saying "skip, skip, skip and skip" just because that the songs are not hers and she didn't want to sing them. She seemed to be skipping all the songs that she ASSUMED no one else was going to sing. I wasn't fast enough to stop her when she skipped some of my song. But that wasn't the main problem. So we came to the last 3 pages and about 2 pages are English songs which I don't think those were requested by us who were left there. So I told her that "actually we don't need to rush already." Then she answered "but still got so many songs what." (as if you'll sing them all? You'll also skip them eventually what) So I answered, "but you confirm don't want to sing those songs one." And here comes her defensive tone once again "不要唱，做么还点?" 
I was like (FUCK YOU, HELLO, NOT I REQUEST ONE HOR, PLEASE GET THE FACTS RIGHT BEFORE YOU ACCUSE PPL. YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE THE QUEEN IS IT?).
Then I was like 啼笑皆非 and answered "不是我点的what." And she continued with her 自以为是 tone "then 是谁点的？" and I was like "how I know?" with the awkward laughter. 

Seriously, you should facepalm yourself man. Hate you so much. Fuck you fuck you fuck you. You made me uttered so much "f" words, congrats. You should really reflect on yourself man.
Yeah, when you are nice, you are really nice, but isn't ur PMS going a little bit too far?
Seriously.

Dream High

credits to Google Image

Alright. So, by now you should have a rough idea of what I'll be talking about today. Yes, Dream High. It's a n awesome Korean drama featuring 6 students who come from different background and their struggles in pursuing their dream, to be act, to sing, to debut, to shine brighter than the rest.

credits to Google Image

This is in fact, the second time I watch Dream High 1 as the story is truly inspiring and not too far from our reality, unlike other dramas which are sometimes quite unrealistic. Yeah, since the name is "drama", it's likely to be too dramatic right? But this is certainly not. 

I like watching this drama because it somehow reminds me that I'm still young, I have a long way to go and I shouldn't have given up no matter what obstacles are coming towards me. Because just like them, I can achieve my dreams someday with determination and hard work. Surely, I have the faith. Though the road might be rocky and filled with danger, but when your dream comes true and you look back, it's certainly worth it. 

credits to Google Image

The drama somehow reminds me about my younger times when I'm still in Secondary School. The way these six important fellow in the drama pursue their dreams do amaze me although I knew vividly that this is only a drama.

The inspiring lines found in the drama are also very meaningful.

"This drama series is far from over.

So.. don't worry about taking things slowly

Compared to those who walk fast, the ones that walk slow are able to see things much clearer

If you ask me who has the greatest potential, I believe that the ones who walk slower will be the more careful, enriched person."

Those are lines said by Mr.Kang Oh Hyuk (the teacher in charge of these 6 people) when Hye-Mi (Suzy) was devastated thinking that her dream was shattered and she was left behind. Far far behind.

She immediately woke up after hearing these lines and gained success after that.

As for my dream, I actually have a lot. However, I knew that I shouldn't be too greedy. Firstly, I must learn from Hye-Mi, put away all my hatred and acknowledge the strength of my opponent (in this case is my classmates, or soon to be ex-classmates). Next, focus on my dream and I'll enjoy the process.

My first dream is to be the top scholar in NP to make my parents proud and prove to those who think I will not be able to make it, those who once laughed at my dream.

credits to Google Image

Next, I want to be a successful auditor and earn a lot of money to buy a bungalow in Singapore. Then, I will want my parents and sis to stay in there with me. It seems to be a simple dream for you, isn't it? But it's so tough for me that my family cannot even own one bungalow like this in Batam. We are currently still renting from others and have difficulty making the monthly payment for rent. Besides, our bungalow is so small and not so presentable. 

credits to Google Image

I just hope that my dreams can really come true. 

Slap Me Please

Guys, today I 闯祸 again. While serving some Indonesian customers, a misunderstanding took place. The auntie told me a lot of unnecessary details that I got confused. So, I double checked with that passenger "so you want to take today last ferry 1820hr?" She replied yes. After I finished checked-in for them, I told them "board before 1800hr" and once again, she replied me "yes". 

Just when the check-in time for 12.30hr ferry was about to close, the members started to run to our counter one by one holding the boarding pass. I had a feeling that something bad was going to take place. The Singaporean relative and surprisingly the auntie as well, insisted that they told me 12.30hr ferry. I've got no time to argue with them and I didn't even bother to say sorry for that case, I was rushing to key in 12.30hr for them only.

They left. I was still in the middle of confusion, with the feeling of being wronged but trying to calm myself down as I explained to Raisha. Then she passed me their old (wrong) boarding pass to delete. I wasn't thinking straight and ended up in deleting the 1230hr. Once again, I feel like slapping myself. I told Huda "shit. They are going to come back again. I just deleted their 1230hr ferry." She hurried off to inform them as I typed their particulars. 

In the end, some confusion appeared and there was one of the passenger whose boarding pass didn't even have problem ended up to have a problem. The status in the system clearly stated "Pre-imm" which means that the passenger had tapped the card and entered the gate. By now, he SHOULD be inside the immigration already. However, for some weird reason which we didn't know, he was still outside together with others. In the end, we realised that not only him, some of his family members encountered the same situation. Eventually, the officers started to raise their voice and spoke impolitely to the problematic family. Huda was doing departure today, so we could tell that she was having hard time inside especially when the family members kept on scolding her and the officers. 

She didn't utter a single word when she came out and I had been worrying for that all the while when she was still inside. I prepared for that long to say sorry but the atmosphere was really tense when she was back. Lynda told me before not to worry as she'll be fine after a while. All of us could tell how her face was as black as charcoal. However, when she came back and started to stay behind (perhaps because I was in front and she wanted to avoid me), I didn't dare to go in as well, nevertheless to say "I'm Sorry". Out of sudden, that two words just stuck in my throat. Lynda then tried to help me by saying "Huda, Christina wants to tell you something." I appreciated her "help" but I would have stopped her if I could because I knew that Huda was really pissed off this time round. I couldn't help but to say "Sorry" because of the awkwardness but she continued to ignore me. Luckily my shift ended half an hour later but it would seemed to be that I ran away after making mistake. I would rather stayed there and observe her change of mood for the rest of the day but I needed to teach tuition. 

Raisha texted me in the afternoon that three of them were not talking and it was very awkward. But after 2 hours later, she texted me saying that Huda had laughed and joked with Sha. Good thing, but I was really scared that she would give me a 180 degree different treatment tomorrow. 어 떻 개???? 정 말 미 안 해 Hudaaaaa. 

I wonder how would she stare at me tomorrow when I entered SindoFerry at 9am tomorrow. It will be full day shift for me btw. Disaster? I sensed the hostility, anger and the resentment already. Should I even say "sorry" again tomorrow? If she's not angry anymore, then I indirectly reminded her about this as I say "sorry", how?? Or if she'll be waiting for me to say "sorry" but I didn't dare to say, how? She's a nice person and I understood why she had reacted that way. After all, she wasn't the one in fault at all. I was partly in fault and the problematic family also, but she ended up to be my scapegoat and being scolded on my behalf. That must have been really hard for her as I knew the feeling of being wronged. I hated it so much. But I really didn't know what to do already. I felt damn guilty till now and I cried all the way in the bus just now. Really really hope that things will turn out well tomorrow. 

So Pissed Off

Hi Guys, sorry for disappearing from this blog for sooooo long. I was working all the time and watching running man that I had no time to blog. Btw, RunningMan a.k.a RM is freakin' awesome, no doubt! It's damn funny and I watch it all the time when I am too stressed with my work and activities. It's always the best cure after watching horror movies from YouTube, trust me! Okay, sidetracked.

Well, yesterday was a long and tedious day although it was my off day. *note that I mentioned "yesterday" cause it just happened to be 12.30am after I bath, hehe. 

So, yeah I went to view flats and rooms with fellow Indonesian friends : Christee, Marchilia, Shanty, Yely and Fera.

Well, you might be wondering why. We agreed to live together for the next when they study in Singapore. Due to the urgency as their school will be unofficially starting on 13 Sept, so they had no choice but to find somewhere to stay before we move to Jurong East (most probably) this Nov. 

At first when I heard that Fera is joining us, honestly I was reluctant. However, cv told me that they had agreed. Okay can. Then, I tried to recall my relationship with Fera. Well, we talked before, though just few sentences. I cannot really recall the reason why, but I had some impression that she was just an unfriendly fellow and.... arrogant maybe???

I felt so bad about Marchi. She was sort of "outcasted" ever since she had that vague relationship with John. Heard that they were somehow dating though they hadn't admitted even once, but action speaks louder than words, true? When we were walking and inside the train and bus, I noticed that most of them were engaged in their group conversation except for Marchi. It seemed that she was alone, so I naturally started to engage conversation with her. Well, I wasn't sure if she enjoyed it or was it just because I was too talkactive but we did talk a lot of stuff except for John. This word "John" seemed to be out from her dictionary. Perhaps, it was the most painful wound that someone had ever created within her, I shouldn't probe in too much. Sorry.

I asked CV how is Fera's personality, is she arrogant? She told me "no if you had known her well enough." So, I asked another question "you are saying yes if we are not close?" After observing her for just within 1hour, I can surely tell that she is certainly treated as the "princess" in her family. She seemed to have everything that a normal person with unlimited wants would want to have and she gave me the impression that she likes to spend money without blinking her eye. 

This afternoon when we were shopping at 313@Somerset, she took a branded bag which I valued more than $200 and asked the shop assistance few questions. Then Marchi told me that she doesn't know her well but she heard from Shanty that she is a shopaholic. CV told me that she bought a $200 branded bag without telling her mother as well. This question might pop out: "where the hell does she have so much money?"

When Vnhaa joined us, I accidentally asked about her sister "then her boyfriend is staying in Singapore as well?" I was kind of surprised when she paused for a while and everyone stared at me. Uhhh what the heck? Then Yely told me that Vnhaa sister's boyfriend is actually Fera's brother. UHHHHH another what the heck? It seems that Fera is the type that don't want to have ties with anyone, someone who think highly of herself. Another bad points to contribute to the summary of her personality. 

She ordered a nuggets set in Burger King. It contains 8(if I wasn't wrong) nuggets, a cup of coke and a packet of fries. However, she took almost 1.5hr to finish her freaking 8 nuggets and played with her IPad. *Show-off Queen* We were all just waiting for her to finish her bloody nuggets so that we can leave to take a tour at SIM. When there are 3 nuggets left and I hinted them "when are we going?", she said "wait for me to finish" with the not sorry, not guilty, I-am-the-king expression. Dafuq? Feel like slapping her. I wasn't trying to rush her, but just to remind her that we were all waiting for her. Then she took forever to finish that 1 final piece and broke it into many parts. Urgghghhhh can't you just fuckin' squeeze the whole thing into your mouth? When I went back from the toilet with Marchi, I still saw that half piece in the box. "FFFFF Can you just freaking eat it?" End up when I laid back and crossed my arm staring at nowhere, she finally asked "You guys not leaving?" DAFUQQQQ then we all said in the same time "waiting for you to finish eating". Guess what she replied "HAHHH? Why never tell me earlier? I've finished eating?" UHHHHH Like we can read your mind like that. Mind you, it was you who said "wait for me to finish my food", end up you finished eating like half an hour ago? Dear, my time is precious. You cannot imagine how much and how hard I wanted to slap her face just now. Walk also walk so slow knowing that we were going to be late and the rest are rushing to take their ferry which was 20mins before that hers. 

When all of us were discussing on how the 5 of them is going to squeeze inside the taxi, Fera mentioned that her ferry is 20mins later than the rest. Wow, good news isn't it? I suggested to CV "why don't the 4 of you take taxi then she take MRT since hers is later and yall are in rush? Yall don't want to spent money taking 2 taxis right?" CV immediately SHHHHHH-ed me and hinted me with her eye motions. Yeah, I got her hint, Fera wouldn't want. Why? Conclusion: She wanted to take taxi. It even assured me that she is really a 千金大小姐. 

Now I dreaded of staying together with her. I wonder how will our opinion clashes and we'll quarrel. She seemed to have a lot of disatisfaction regarding the flat and house that we viewed. When I wanted to show that I respect her opinion, we asked her how is her opinion, she shrugged her shoulder, not giving an answer when the rest showed approval. What does that show? Uh, like everyone must listen to you? 

So, conclusion: I don't like her even more. Hate her attitude. Attitude problem. I swear that she is going to face a lot of friendship problem. Much much much more than me. I can make sure that beside of CV and Desmond(maybe?), no one would ever be willingly to be in the same group as her for project. Hey Fera, you should be thankful that you've got CV and Desmond in the same class as you, if not, don't ever wish that anyone would make friends with you(I'm talking about Singaporean). Seriously, hateful one, spoiler. 

Mugging In Action

Hi guys, it's me back with a new post. I have not been posting new stuff lately though I've got a lot of things to say. A lot has been happening lately, as usual... Alright. Now is officially 5.17am and I'm still awake since yesterday's 9.30am. You might be wondering why. Cause I actually slept at 8.30pm 2 nights before. Due to the long sleep, I'll probably forget about sleeping for now. 

Mugging for my MIEC though. You know what an idiot I've been? I thought the paper is on Wednesday, but I just found out like 4 or 5 hours ago that it's on Tuesday 2.30pm which is like, 9 more hours from now? So, obviously I haven't finished studying yet. Doing last minute memorising as usual. Let's pray hard that I'll pass this with flying colours, alright? Thanks! :D

By the way, the reason why I'm not prepared though the 1 week study break is over is because I've been working during the weekends and holidays. During work, I was too tired that I spent most of the time sleeping instead of focus on working and studying. Hell Yeah, I thought I got 1 more days to prepare myself. Besides, I could do nothing except for watching running man and other dramas. How??? I'm damn addicted to Running Man right now. Somebody save me!!!!

Gah!!! Alright. I shall continue studying now. Bye guys! 

Gloomy Friday

I've been coping like shit with school and studies lately. Nevertheless, I will never ever abandon my dramas, tehee. :D 

Just finished watching Secret Garden lately, it was damn nice omg. Hyun Bin is damn handsome and childish inside LOL but he's damn cuteyyy! Okay, my disease is here again whenever I talk about K-actors hahaha.

Btw, just a month ago, I've also finished watching King 2 Hearts and RE-watch Rooftop Prince. Lee Seung Gi is another one! Gahhhhhhhhh. Guess what?! He's coming to Singapore this month!!!!! But why the price so exxxxx like $160+ ?? and when I'm broke somemore.

This month is a though one. NP just sent me a mail one week ago stating that the school will deduct school fee amounted to $937.00 from my GIRO account on 20 sth of this month. I was desperate looking for money. I've only got $300 left in sis' account, auntie couldn't lend me much, at most $200-$300.

Okay, you should be wondering what's going on with my family there, why I've never mentioned about asking for money from them. My mom has given me all her personal savings for me to survive until today. So, I'm not going to add another burden to her anymore as she couldn't do much. On top of that, when I told her about this, she told me that they just signed for another bank loan. The previous bank loan has taken my family 3 tough years to pay back. Not again? Dad needs to find money to pay for the rental there. I know that he's damn stressed, that's why I never call him and told him about this school fee thingy. He cannot even pass me $300 that he suggested to borrow from Crystal, what to do? I settled myself bit by bit. 

Thought that I'll be anticipating this month's pay, after calculation, I've got to pay this and that and I'm left with nothing again. Omg so broke!!! :((((((

If he got money, he'll surely call me and try to pass me the money. Since that there's no news from him, I could confidently conclude that I shouldn't hope much from him. So like my mom and my aunt have suggested, I went to make a call to Linda and asked if I could get my pay in advance yesterday. She told me that she'll help me ask Mr. Liu. Till now, she hasn't called me back yet. Still waiting. This process took soooo long. 

Tonight I'll reach home quite late. It's Friday, Come on! My lesson ends at 1pm but I need to work 1 hour @SSC (supposedly to be 4 hours, but I've covered so many people's shift for the past few days, hence deducted). Then I still need to stay until 6pm for INFA test till 7pm. Continued by Rotaract Club what "Installation and Induction Ceremony". Till now, I still don't have a clear idea of what's that ceremony about. They said it's something like you need to say the pledge thingy? Okay can? That ceremony will last for 2 hours starting from 7pm which means that I could reach NP bustop only around 9.30pm? Then I'll reach home at around 10+. Then I shall continue watching the Secret Garden on Ch.U! Hahaha. They translated the "Kim, Su an.... blah x3" chant until damn nice LOL. Must watch! 

Alright, forgot to mention. Actually, I'm in the midst of INFA lecture @LT45 right now! Hahahaha. Alright, bye guys, keep you updated! Have a nice day ! :)

Disappointed

Guess what. I'm having my MIEC lecture @LT24 right now but obviously I'm not paying attention. I just can be bothered with what's going on around me right now. I'm so tired.

Yeah. That's lie.
By the way, today I'm just in good mood, dressing myself up differently from usual, wearing knee-length skirt with thin clothes. I think I look so 素女 today hahaha. Yeah, my friends asked me "Omg are you meeting up your EC today?" LOL no, I also hope that it is a yes.

Kay, so the reason why I wanted to post sth while in the middle of lecture is because I really cannot concentrate. I looked at 979, not a single guilty face and the person who said sorry to me is the one who had not done anything wrong or did the least wrong to me.

Tell you what. On Monday, Abby mentioned about watching Amazing Spiderman on Friday. I was so excited the moment I heard "Amazing Spiderman". So, she asked me if I wanna join them on Friday. But I got work till 6pm, so I told her that I couldn't make it unless they want to watch at night.
Friday morning, they mentioned about it again in the class. This time, I approached Abby and asked her what time they are going to watch. If they watch after 6pm, I can join. So, she discussed and Karin checked for the timing. But as usual, no conclusion made. So I asked her again is it still on? If it's only because of me, then it's fine, I'm not going (cause I really don't want to be a problem to anyone, that's my nature). So, she told me "不懂，看他们". So I waited lohh. I wait and wait and wait. From the moment we finished our last lesson, till I was working at SSC even until I finished my work, I was still waiting for someone to notify me. By then, it was 6pm+ already. I got a feeling that I've been forgotten.

But I still texted Abby in case they are so nice and really waited for me : "you guys got wait for me? if not, I went home ahh". She didn't reply. So, I decided to forward it to Karin because I know among them, only Karin will reply my message on time. Before Karin replied me, I was getting impatient and decided to call Abby, she never picked up. Then, Karin's reply went in : "huh? I thought you not coming with us?" Obvious enough, I think they went to watch or maybe even finished watching already and lepaking somewhere else. So, I was like making it sound like I don't care that much cause I'm in the process of forgetting about them anyway : "I asked Abby about your final decision then she say see yall, but never tell me. Means nv wait right? Then nvm I go home first :)". Can you imagine I actually put a smiley face at the back? So pathetic and stupid right. Then she replied "lol Sorry". I just say nvm lah. If not, what could I say? : "no. yall are not forgiven." Yeah right, how I wish. hahahahha
Because I'm not that person, so nvm. Until today, 3 days already, Abby did not say sorry to me though we saw each other just now. I don't really blame the rest cause they didn't know that I wanted to go except for Abby, Karin and Poh Leng when we talked about it in the class Friday morning. But yeah, what to do?

Feel so much better after pouring out my words here. Pheeeewwwwwwwwwww.
Lecture ends le! Lunch and proceed to BLaw tutorial then considered end of the day. Bye~

When Will All These Be Over?

Problem always comes one after another. I'm so sick of it. Really.

I've never really been enjoying my life since I come to Singapore. There are many times whereby I asked myself : Why are you creating so much burden for yourself? Is this really where you want to be?

Money has always been the responsible of parents and when has it been passed down to a 15 years old child. Come on, now I'm already 17. The God has been joking with me all the time, isn't He? Whenever there seems to be a glimpse of hope, suddenly they tell me that it was not supposed to be like that. Then, another problem arouse. 

Even now, I ended up with the tight schedule, while I need to cope with school, project, work, giving tuition and bonding session as well as all sorts of commitment that I wish to join.

I want to join another BAOC (previous one was really fun, not because of my classmates of course. It's because I really enjoy event like that), swimming (till now I could not find a day to go for trial. 10 weeks has passed), rotaract club (their outings and community service that I've been waiting for damn long). I ended up has to reject almost all of them except for BAOC. I'm still kinda worried if I can go for BAOC outing as I had signed up for 2 groups. 

Like, are you kidding me? I don't mind to share my schedule here:

Mon : * School 9am-11am, 1pm-3pm, 6pm-8pm

Tue   : *School 9am-11am, 1pm-5pm.

          *Give tuition 7.30pm-9pm

Wed : *School 1pm-3pm

          *Give tuition 7.30pm-9pm

Thurs :*School 9am-1pm, 2pm-4pm

          *Give tuition 6.30pm-9pm

Fri    : *School 9am-1pm

          *Work @SSC 1pm-6pm

Sat   : *Work @SindoFerry 8am-6.30pm

Sun  : *Work @SindoFerry 8am-6.30pm

Approximately I can only reach home at average of 10pm everyday except for Fri-Sun.

I really deserve a long long long break, don't I? I didn't even get to enjoy my holiday where other teens are partying crazily and having their outing marathon out there to maximise their holiday. But me? Working like a cow. Those money are also used to support my daily expenses which is left with nothing most of the time. What have I been doing for these 3 years? I'm so tired.

From iPhone wait until iPhone2, then iPhone3, iPhone4, 4S, Samsung Galaxy SII. Now Galaxy SIII has even been launched and I had owned none of them. None. It has a really great impact on my social life, friends drifting apart, cannot get up-to-date with my new friends, resulting us in acquaintances. I ended up having low self-esteem and nowadays I even try to show my phone as little as possible. Because I know that the rest wouldn't understand me. Holy crap. Everyone said "I understand. Yeah, I also like that." Crap. You know what I meant by crap? You are not same with me, you wouldn't understand me at all. Your situation and mine is like totally different dude. You've got your parents to support you, you got a comfortable home of yours, don't need to think of how you going to borrow money from, when can you buy new clothes, you've got everything you need. Mostly everything.

Yet, you guys don't know how to treasure them. Look at my schedule man. Seriously, it's insane. I cannot even breathe.

Lately, I even encountered 鬼压床. Yeah, it's like the scientific symptoms where they say occurred because you are really too stressed. Like your eyelid can hardly open, not even half. You know people are just right beside you, but they do not know that you need them, trying to shout but nothing comes out from your throat, your body cannot even move at all, and some scary voice getting louder and louder beside your ear. That incident really freaked me out when it happened at SindoFerry when I was lying on the table and sleeping so nicely. Sha said "nonsense lah you" but I know the best that I was true. 

Those friend whom I thought are really concerned about me had really disappointed me one after another. Enabelle is one of them, followed by my fellow classmates. You guys said that you are disappointed at me, hated me, called me with all sorts of rough words like "bitch", scold me with various vulgarities like "fuck you", but have you ever put yourselves in my shoe? Before you made those remarks, have you even think of me or rather why would I turn out to be like that? Who is the cause behind everything? The person who is hurt don't even have the right to cry in pain, so why would you be so cold-blooded and insensitive towards people around you especially people like me who is lack of love and concern?

I don't even have time to care about my crush or hang out with him. Forget it, I think I would probably stay single forever? Anyway, who will like a poor, low-class, ugly and anti-social people like me? Yeah, I'm that awful. I know. 

So, yeah basically these are my feelings and thoughts that I've been wanted to pour out with someone but I couldn't find any suitable candidate for damn long. Eventually, this is the only comfort for me. As if someone will read my blog and sympathise me like that. Yeah, Dream on Christina.

Life is about dreams, perseverance and challenge. Those who are tough are the ones who can survive. I wanna be one of them, make those who had ever despise me or looked down on me or worse, has given up on me to regret and reflect upon their own doings. Rather, people don't reflect till the day they realise that everything is over and they gonna leave. 

Sigh. With this, I think I should end this long rant and boring blog? Because I've been talking about roughly the same thing most of the time as these problems never want to leave me. Perhaps, they are going to bug me forever till the day I die. Alright, sweet dreams. 加油！

How's Life?

Hey yeah, how's life, everyone?

It's been ages since I last blogged. Yeah, I'm really busy lately. Unlike other people, I did not get to enjoy my holiday. Obviously, what I did was working like a bull, working really really hard. I don't see my ideal future and dreams getting nearer but I know that one need to be tough in order to survive in this cruel society. This is the reality. The richer and powerful ones enjoy and the poorer ones suffer. Come to think of it, I'm not really the worst example, aren't I? There are more people who are in worse situation than me, right? Please DO say YES. I need plenty of support from the person I love right now. I'm about to collapse but I need to hang on and work even further.

My uncle did say something correct: "Since you know that you are inferior to other people, you need to work ten times harder than the rest. You cannot enjoy a relaxed life like what others are doing." But, has anyone showing me concern lately in these darkest hours?

Meanwhile, those people whom I really appreciate a lot : my mom, auntie, uncle, sis, yuefen, crystal.

I wonder where has those people whom I thought will go through all these with me have gone: Enabelle, 979, etc etc. Thanks a lot. By showing me this side of you, yall have actually given me strength to persevere even further. I am confident that I'm able to turn the hatred into motivation and yes I will.

Lately, there are a lot of activities that I really wanted to join and in fact, I've signed up in advance for some but end up have to cancel them last minute. Those include Rotaract Club BBQ outing, Donation day, ACRES volunteer and the most important thing, is to rest. I'm so so so tired.

Like I'm so no life. Earn money in order to pay for expenses, then I need to earn them back and the circle goes round and round and round. Those people who ever said that they envy me, you'll never want to go through this, trust me. I'm not as strong as I look. I'm just an ordinary small little weak girl. I need support, comfort, concern, sympathy, and love from the people whom I really care. But what do I actually get in return? Yeah, crap. 

By the way, I'm so grateful to Lechelle's mom as well. Lechelle is my officially first student. I teach her P2 Maths. I was kind of surprised. Her result doesn't really improve much yet her mom introduced me to so many people that she know. Lately, she got me to teach her nephew and niece in Sengkang who are in P5 and Sec3 respectively. After asking if I have any available days, I realized that I'm only left with Thurs-Sun after 6pm available every week. Pathetic right? Yeah, my mind is all about money right now. I immediately accepted her offer. The tuition will start next week so I'll see how it goes. 

So, I'll keep you guys updated yeah. Nitez my Baobei~ Jiayou! :D

United? Shithead.

So, today is supposed to be revision day, cause I'll be sitting for ITB paper tomorrow. But anyway, I went to school for 1hour talk from 12pm-1pm for the sake of CCA points. Blame myself for being CCA-less right now. :(

The talk was quite interesting initially, but it started to get boring and more boring eventually till I fell asleep. Oh, anyway, did I mention that I saw him again? 

Yeah, before I headed to library for the talk, I went to Munch to try my luck as he's having paper today but I'm not too sure about the time and venue. I reached school 1hour earlier, so why not? And I REALLY SAW HIM! I was like OMG omg how? I'm very excited. He was with his friend, so I just poked his shoulder, he turned around and we waved to each other, that's all. Followed by 2SMS/person then we stopped communicating. I was like sitting near the exit door of the Munch, "revising" alone (with the initially intention so that he would at least walk past me if he wants to go home). In the end, around 11.30am I turned around and he wasn't there already. Sigh. We are really not fated, are we?

When I reach home, all I did was to watch Sungkyunkwan Scandal! Omg tell you, it's damn freaking nice seriously. I was tempted to continue to watch episode after episode. Park Yoo Chun is damn hot!!!!!

10pm : I finally decided to stop watching at episode 18, shall continue tomorrow perhaps. :) I went to see FaceBook for a while and saw a new post on the group "TO1 is 26Y4U". I thought everyone had long abandoned that group? 

This is the new post.

Tell you, I'm so not going to go. I'm not going to be a fool again. Be it in the past or present, nothing has changed. They are always those people. Beside of saying "I understand", "I know", or the line that I hated the most : "You should try to talk to them", "...join them" and whatever shit. NO! You guys fucking don't understand. If yes, things wouldn't have turned out in this way. I hate yall. Listen guys, I HATE YALL, the 979 or TO1 or TA30 or whatever shitty name yall gave for this clique, I HATE YALL to the core!

You guys will never know how much hurt yall have caused, how many times have yall disappoint me, how many chances I've given yall to prove that yall aren't the kind of people I think yall are. I tried how many thousand times to be thick skin, to re-do this experiments all over again. No, I'm not gonna tell yall guys about this again, cause I'm just going to create a laughing joke. 

Just to take note, yall plan, yall go ahead. Even though ALL of you will attend (ALL including Amy, Sheryl, Winnie, Celine), I'm not gonna go. Or perhaps, yall will realise by then? But yeah, I don't expect miracle on yall? *Bitch please* Don't ask me why, this is not a troll and whatever shit, instead, I'll cause a troll if I ever go. So, yeah. You guys enjoy your holiday outing, your gathering, and I'm going to spend my holiday working part-time and keep myself busy so that I won't think of you guys. You guys had abandoned me more than twice and I'm not going to be a dog who follow yall everywhere. I'm so looking forward to my holiday and after that, I'll choose different timetable, TO1 or specifically 979 will be erased from my life from then onwards. 

Thanks for all the empty hopes yall have given me, thanks for the hypocrites, yall have made me even stronger. I'm going to prove you wrong, make yall stunt, regret and feel guilty at least while you guys are in NP. 

As I said, I'm not going to tell yall in your face, but I DO hope that someone will see this post and know that I'm referring to you. This is how much agony yall have brought to me, mind it.

T.G.I.F

Alright, as what you can read from the title, today is a Friday. Friday Friday! *The song keeps repeating in my mind right now, LOL*

So, I shall begin sharing about today. This morning was a disaster. I woke up at 10.40am, realising that the sky is bright and clear. Yes, you did not read wrongly, "bright and clear". It was because of this "bright and clear", I immediately woke up and looked at my alarm clock and it shows 10.40am! I was like WTFFFFFF God Damn It! I grabbed my phone and "are you kidding me?". I don't know how to describe, but the screen was like showing my phone hang or something. That explained why my alarm never rang! OMFG my tutorial started at 9am and by 10.40am our tutor was most probably going to dismiss us for INFA lecture? 1hour journey to school and I was already marked as absent anyway. Fine fine. I made up my mind and spent my $25 on fake MC again for the sake of covering my attendance. I was supposedly to have a group discussion after school also so I lied to my classmates, telling them that I wasn't feeling well. Yeah, I used menstrual cramp as an old effective excuse to both obtain a MC and gain my friends' trust at the same time. 

Yeah, recorded as absent.

In the afternoon,  I went to Tiong Bahru Post Office to claim my finally-arrived parcel. My beloved shoe! i spent $26 on it! However, I ended up with a disappointment because I thought I received the wrong order. As I referred back to the website, right. I ordered wrongly. So damn sad! I was soooo excited and waited for so long for that shoe. I'll never ever shop online anymore. 

So, I stayed outside , spending my whole day with my lappy. I brought it to Tanjong Pagar to get some cosmetic products from Jiahui and A level Chinese paper from TianMin for my cousin. So, I spent my time revising Korean at Mac. While waiting, I went online and chat with JS discussing about the outcome of his status LOL!

Hahahahahaha

So, below, I'll show what I've been doing most of the time out there. Hahahaha. I camwhore like mad.

For once, I think I looked cute. :P

Besides of that, JS and I talked about other stuff. Like I told him I pon school today hahaha. When I told him that I told doctor I got menstrual cramp, he replied me "I am speechless." Actually, I find him really cute especially when he is paise and speechless. Omg I'm soooo into him. I'm not gonna tell him my feeling though, just gonna stay like this. Meet regularly, set up this 'friend zone' but admiring him and liking him secretly. 

*Cause I don't want to lose our friendship 

*Cause I like him soooo much that I want to carry on being his good friend, as long as possible.

* Cause I don't want to be another Jovin. 

*Cause I want to be someone who can make his Poly life different. 

*Cause I want him to feel comfortable with me.

*Cause I know that he'll never be interested in me. 

*Cause I know that I'm not good enough for him. 

*Cause he's just that good-looking yet I'm an ugly duckling who will never turn into a swan. 

*Cause I am #forever ugly #forever alone, way too ordinary

*Cause I'm not meant to be for him or maybe he's not meant to be for me. 

In that case, I also need to pay attention to my attitude, my reactions etc etc when I am together with him so that he wouldn't see through me. I really really hope that this can last long.