So my life had been quite peaceful recently. I realised that I'm feeling better day after day, except for the fact that I haven't managed to find any suitable job on weekends. And I realised something. Once I stopped working for a while, I wish that I'll never have to work to support myself anymore. I couldn't really describe but I really love my lifestyle now. I've never been so free throughout the weekend before, nor have I ever slowed down my step to observe what's around me.
Honestly, I couldn't believe that I'm only out of job for a mere 1mth. Alright, I know that it's not a small matter for me due to my background, but I really felt as if I've lost this job for like more than 2 mths? Amazing right? Yeah, I don't want this so-called "vacation break" to end. But, what to do? and CT is coming soon and honestly I haven't even realised how many days away from CT until I accidentally put the timetable in front of me this evening. I am feeling super anxious right now.
This evening I was supposed to go to LT22 to help Christiana, Ys and Edmund to buy the NP shirt (none for me), but I kind of too obsessed doing BStats that I remembered nothing about that. And seriously, BStats is mind-fucking me. I'm so gonna score badly for this module but I cannot afford to.
Saw Sya's post on fb today, she just opened her bakery online shop OMG! Cannot believe that she really did that! She did show me some of her products previously and she described how she loved to bake, but this thought has never come across me where she'll really use this idea for business. This made me feel so guilty and sorry about myself. She's so hardworking and she dare to take the risk of doing sth that she has never done. and it's totally unrelated to her course. I'm a biz student, yet I'm like wasting time in poly, still figuring out what I really want to do in the future with my diploma. I don't even have the entrepreneurship and creative ideas to survive in this biz world. I'm really scared.
But anyway, managed to find her birthday from her blog! Hehehe. Coz she was unwilling to reveal her birthday to me the other day when we went out with JS (hehehehe you know what I'm thinking :P) but she told me that I'll be able to find out if I find hard enough. And I did it! It's on 2nd of Sept! :D I immediately saved on my phone calendar as usual. :)
Saw Christee and Elvi's convo on twitter. Christee has always been my best friend all this while but I realised sth has changed ever since she came to Singapore and study in SIM. Probably because we don't stay tgt, you see. The initial plan was so perfect where we'll rent a house tgt with the guys. Then suddenly the guys and us are separated and now even I have to go separate ways with Christee. But the thing that puzzled me is the fact where she can still contact me or text me when she's free, right? She got the time to reply all those comments on fb and chat with Elvi on twitter, yet she didn't spend any single minute to text me and ask how I'm doing. She can also ask me out or pay me a visit in NP since SIM is just beside and her house is just few miles away, right? What excuses she gonna use for that?
I've probably been the stupidest friend who only know how to give, but no one has ever care to return anything. I really really miss her and feel like texting her but how do I even start with the first message? She probably didn't even know that I've lost my job and I've been mugging at home throughout the weekends and waiting for her message all this while. Please, just let me see this sincerity once. The sincerity of asking me out, a genuine concern. I wish. I really do.
No comments:
Post a Comment