Rainy Night

So my life had been quite peaceful recently. I realised that I'm feeling better day after day, except for the fact that I haven't managed to find any suitable job on weekends. And I realised something. Once I stopped working for a while, I wish that I'll never have to work to support myself anymore. I couldn't really describe but I really love my lifestyle now. I've never been so free throughout the weekend before, nor have I ever slowed down my step to observe what's around me. 

Honestly, I couldn't believe that I'm only out of job for a mere 1mth. Alright, I know that it's not a small matter for me due to my background, but I really felt as if I've lost this job for like more than 2 mths? Amazing right? Yeah, I don't want this so-called "vacation break" to end. But, what to do? and CT is coming soon and honestly I haven't even realised how many days away from CT until I accidentally put the timetable in front of me this evening. I am feeling super anxious right now. 

This evening I was supposed to go to LT22 to help Christiana, Ys and Edmund to buy the NP shirt (none for me), but I kind of too obsessed doing BStats that I remembered nothing about that. And seriously, BStats is mind-fucking me. I'm so gonna score badly for this module but I cannot afford to.

Saw Sya's post on fb today, she just opened her bakery online shop OMG! Cannot believe that she really did that! She did show me some of her products previously and she described how she loved to bake, but this thought has never come across me where she'll really use this idea for business. This made me feel so guilty and sorry about myself. She's so hardworking and she dare to take the risk of doing sth that she has never done. and it's totally unrelated to her course. I'm a biz student, yet I'm like wasting time in poly, still figuring out what I really want to do in the future with my diploma. I don't even have the entrepreneurship and  creative ideas to survive in this biz world. I'm really scared. 

But anyway, managed to find her birthday from her blog! Hehehe. Coz she was unwilling to reveal her birthday to me the other day when we went out with JS (hehehehe you know what I'm thinking :P) but she told me that I'll be able to find out if I find hard enough. And I did it! It's on 2nd of Sept! :D I immediately saved on my phone calendar as usual. :)

Saw Christee and Elvi's convo on twitter. Christee has always been my best friend all this while but I realised sth has changed ever since she came to Singapore and study in SIM. Probably because we don't stay tgt, you see. The initial plan was so perfect where we'll rent a house tgt with the guys. Then suddenly the guys and us are separated and now even I have to go separate ways with Christee. But the thing that puzzled me is the fact where she can still contact me or text me when she's free, right? She got the time to reply all those comments on fb and chat with Elvi on twitter, yet she didn't spend any single minute to text me and ask how I'm doing. She can also ask me out or pay me a visit in NP since SIM is just beside and her house is just few miles away, right? What excuses she gonna use for that? 

I've probably been the stupidest friend who only know how to give, but no one has ever care to return anything. I really really miss her and feel like texting her but how do I even start with the first message? She probably didn't even know that I've lost my job and I've been mugging at home throughout the weekends and waiting for her message all this while. Please, just let me see this sincerity once. The sincerity of asking me out, a genuine concern. I wish. I really do. 

Attitude Problem

Alright, so the new term has started like 3 weeks ago and I've long abandoned this blog as I've been busy and life has been going on quite well after I got refreshed from the trip back to my hometown like 4 weeks ago.

I was so damn happy to have found myself a clique where I belong too. I swore to myself that I'm not going to be like last sem anymore. For THOSE ppl, I just want to clarify one last time : Hello, I'm not an anti-social, kay? Yall who think that I am, you've made a great mistake cause you are the one who don't accept me. 

In fact, I'm no longer the outcasted one in my class (at least I don't feel so). And in fact, the guys seemed to be very friendly, apparently. Because I've heard a lot of negative comments from my clique about those guys in  my current class, they are hypocrites and I should never ever trust them. 

So, generally people in this clique are good except for one which I don't want to mention the name for this moment. I think that she has got a serious attitude problem. Now I know why they described her as "serious". Okay, this is actually way more than serious, but is attitude problem a.k.a. "AP", okay? 

On the first day of our DSS tutorial, we were grouped and asked to select a team leader. My friend asked if I was okay with AP girl being the leader as she was very serious. I said "sure". Yeap, sure that she's serious, AP at the same time. We had our very first discussion which no one in our team brought laptop except for me. I was doing the part 1 of the project and she was dividing the task for our teammates. The thing is, every  parts of the project are linked. Which means, we couldn't continue the next part unless someone has finished the previous part. So my two other friends were mentioning about this thing and that AP girl argued with a damn serious tone that they can do part 2 w/o part 1 (which she was wrong). Then my friends tried to explain to her, but she just didn't get it and she got more agitated instead as you could just tell from her gl face and defensive tone. She might not have realised, but I was exchanging eye contact with Vanessa and both of us laughed awkwardly as we didn't know how to stop that so-called "argument". Thankfully, that AP girl got what they say eventually but just changed her plan w/o that guilty face or "sorry" mentioned. That gave me the first bad impression on her that she has got AP, stubborn and does not listen to others.

Secondly was about 2 days ago in DSS tutorial class. I was flipping my textbook to refer to do our class work and she sat beside me. She was asking me which one we were supposed to do and what was the instructions. Naturally, we ended up sharing the textbook and I asked "you never bring your textbook again?". She was like damn agitated and replied like this "what AGAIN?! I got bring last week hor!" Then I was like, "Oh ya, forgot. But you never opened your tb right?" Then she got even angrier and said "I got open hor! 跟你讲，我最讨厌被人家冤枉." I was like stunned and kept quiet at that time. I've always have this STM, but must someone got so frustrated over that? That wasn't even the way she should use "冤枉". Sigh. AP.

So today is Vanessa's sweet 17th birthday. We had another DSS tutorial in the morning which I did not bring my laptop cause I thought that my part was done (my bad, not completely done). So, I only realised that when she asked me if I didn't highlight the part of my work. Since she was not in charge of doing part 2, I assumed that she did not need her laptop so urgently and asked for her permission before I borrowed her laptop. I finished my work beautifully and I didn't know that I was back-stabbed till I reach home after the celebration. I somehow went to see her twitter account and discovered this one tweet. 

Bring laptop, don't get to use laptop. WTF. I bring for ppl to use. -.-

This is what I exactly copied and pasted from her tweet. So now what? You as a team  leader should be frank to your members right? I'm fine if you are not happy with me that I did not finish my part completely and I'll be more than willing to accept if you reprimand me because of that. Cause I admitted that I was irresponsible. But what are you kicking up the fuss about? It's not as if I borrowed ur laptop for my own business but it's for the sake of not delaying the team. Some more I returned you, so what's with that “ don't get to use laptop" uh? So what are you buay song about? And you willingly lent me your laptop in front of me w/o saying anything else but you tweeted stuff like that? Come on, don't be so fake man. I've seen through you.

This just led me into deeper thoughts about your attitude problem. Yesterday, when Joyce was charging her iPhone with 80% battery life, AP girl told her that we cannot charge phone unless that the battery life falls below 30% and I agreed on that. So Joyce was like "really meh?". Then AP girl started to convince her with that very serious and agitated tone as she had damaged her own battery before because of that. Then I was  so awkward due to her tone and Joyce stopped her and say "okay okay, relax lah" (with awkward smile).  AP girl did not even say "sorry" or anything like that. That awkward smile, yeah I totally feel it.

On top of that, we went to K-Box just now. After Joyce and Vanessa left, there was like 6 pages of song queued and we were left with 30 mins time. So AP girl kept on saying "skip, skip, skip and skip" just because that the songs are not hers and she didn't want to sing them. She seemed to be skipping all the songs that she ASSUMED no one else was going to sing. I wasn't fast enough to stop her when she skipped some of my song. But that wasn't the main problem. So we came to the last 3 pages and about 2 pages are English songs which I don't think those were requested by us who were left there. So I told her that "actually we don't need to rush already." Then she answered "but still got so many songs what." (as if you'll sing them all? You'll also skip them eventually what) So I answered, "but you confirm don't want to sing those songs one." And here comes her defensive tone once again "不要唱，做么还点?" 
I was like (FUCK YOU, HELLO, NOT I REQUEST ONE HOR, PLEASE GET THE FACTS RIGHT BEFORE YOU ACCUSE PPL. YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE THE QUEEN IS IT?).
Then I was like 啼笑皆非 and answered "不是我点的what." And she continued with her 自以为是 tone "then 是谁点的？" and I was like "how I know?" with the awkward laughter. 

Seriously, you should facepalm yourself man. Hate you so much. Fuck you fuck you fuck you. You made me uttered so much "f" words, congrats. You should really reflect on yourself man.
Yeah, when you are nice, you are really nice, but isn't ur PMS going a little bit too far?
Seriously.

Dream High

credits to Google Image

Alright. So, by now you should have a rough idea of what I'll be talking about today. Yes, Dream High. It's a n awesome Korean drama featuring 6 students who come from different background and their struggles in pursuing their dream, to be act, to sing, to debut, to shine brighter than the rest.

credits to Google Image

This is in fact, the second time I watch Dream High 1 as the story is truly inspiring and not too far from our reality, unlike other dramas which are sometimes quite unrealistic. Yeah, since the name is "drama", it's likely to be too dramatic right? But this is certainly not. 

I like watching this drama because it somehow reminds me that I'm still young, I have a long way to go and I shouldn't have given up no matter what obstacles are coming towards me. Because just like them, I can achieve my dreams someday with determination and hard work. Surely, I have the faith. Though the road might be rocky and filled with danger, but when your dream comes true and you look back, it's certainly worth it. 

credits to Google Image

The drama somehow reminds me about my younger times when I'm still in Secondary School. The way these six important fellow in the drama pursue their dreams do amaze me although I knew vividly that this is only a drama.

The inspiring lines found in the drama are also very meaningful.

"This drama series is far from over.

So.. don't worry about taking things slowly

Compared to those who walk fast, the ones that walk slow are able to see things much clearer

If you ask me who has the greatest potential, I believe that the ones who walk slower will be the more careful, enriched person."

Those are lines said by Mr.Kang Oh Hyuk (the teacher in charge of these 6 people) when Hye-Mi (Suzy) was devastated thinking that her dream was shattered and she was left behind. Far far behind.

She immediately woke up after hearing these lines and gained success after that.

As for my dream, I actually have a lot. However, I knew that I shouldn't be too greedy. Firstly, I must learn from Hye-Mi, put away all my hatred and acknowledge the strength of my opponent (in this case is my classmates, or soon to be ex-classmates). Next, focus on my dream and I'll enjoy the process.

My first dream is to be the top scholar in NP to make my parents proud and prove to those who think I will not be able to make it, those who once laughed at my dream.

credits to Google Image

Next, I want to be a successful auditor and earn a lot of money to buy a bungalow in Singapore. Then, I will want my parents and sis to stay in there with me. It seems to be a simple dream for you, isn't it? But it's so tough for me that my family cannot even own one bungalow like this in Batam. We are currently still renting from others and have difficulty making the monthly payment for rent. Besides, our bungalow is so small and not so presentable. 

credits to Google Image

I just hope that my dreams can really come true. 

Slap Me Please

Guys, today I 闯祸 again. While serving some Indonesian customers, a misunderstanding took place. The auntie told me a lot of unnecessary details that I got confused. So, I double checked with that passenger "so you want to take today last ferry 1820hr?" She replied yes. After I finished checked-in for them, I told them "board before 1800hr" and once again, she replied me "yes". 

Just when the check-in time for 12.30hr ferry was about to close, the members started to run to our counter one by one holding the boarding pass. I had a feeling that something bad was going to take place. The Singaporean relative and surprisingly the auntie as well, insisted that they told me 12.30hr ferry. I've got no time to argue with them and I didn't even bother to say sorry for that case, I was rushing to key in 12.30hr for them only.

They left. I was still in the middle of confusion, with the feeling of being wronged but trying to calm myself down as I explained to Raisha. Then she passed me their old (wrong) boarding pass to delete. I wasn't thinking straight and ended up in deleting the 1230hr. Once again, I feel like slapping myself. I told Huda "shit. They are going to come back again. I just deleted their 1230hr ferry." She hurried off to inform them as I typed their particulars. 

In the end, some confusion appeared and there was one of the passenger whose boarding pass didn't even have problem ended up to have a problem. The status in the system clearly stated "Pre-imm" which means that the passenger had tapped the card and entered the gate. By now, he SHOULD be inside the immigration already. However, for some weird reason which we didn't know, he was still outside together with others. In the end, we realised that not only him, some of his family members encountered the same situation. Eventually, the officers started to raise their voice and spoke impolitely to the problematic family. Huda was doing departure today, so we could tell that she was having hard time inside especially when the family members kept on scolding her and the officers. 

She didn't utter a single word when she came out and I had been worrying for that all the while when she was still inside. I prepared for that long to say sorry but the atmosphere was really tense when she was back. Lynda told me before not to worry as she'll be fine after a while. All of us could tell how her face was as black as charcoal. However, when she came back and started to stay behind (perhaps because I was in front and she wanted to avoid me), I didn't dare to go in as well, nevertheless to say "I'm Sorry". Out of sudden, that two words just stuck in my throat. Lynda then tried to help me by saying "Huda, Christina wants to tell you something." I appreciated her "help" but I would have stopped her if I could because I knew that Huda was really pissed off this time round. I couldn't help but to say "Sorry" because of the awkwardness but she continued to ignore me. Luckily my shift ended half an hour later but it would seemed to be that I ran away after making mistake. I would rather stayed there and observe her change of mood for the rest of the day but I needed to teach tuition. 

Raisha texted me in the afternoon that three of them were not talking and it was very awkward. But after 2 hours later, she texted me saying that Huda had laughed and joked with Sha. Good thing, but I was really scared that she would give me a 180 degree different treatment tomorrow. 어 떻 개???? 정 말 미 안 해 Hudaaaaa. 

I wonder how would she stare at me tomorrow when I entered SindoFerry at 9am tomorrow. It will be full day shift for me btw. Disaster? I sensed the hostility, anger and the resentment already. Should I even say "sorry" again tomorrow? If she's not angry anymore, then I indirectly reminded her about this as I say "sorry", how?? Or if she'll be waiting for me to say "sorry" but I didn't dare to say, how? She's a nice person and I understood why she had reacted that way. After all, she wasn't the one in fault at all. I was partly in fault and the problematic family also, but she ended up to be my scapegoat and being scolded on my behalf. That must have been really hard for her as I knew the feeling of being wronged. I hated it so much. But I really didn't know what to do already. I felt damn guilty till now and I cried all the way in the bus just now. Really really hope that things will turn out well tomorrow. 

So Pissed Off

Hi Guys, sorry for disappearing from this blog for sooooo long. I was working all the time and watching running man that I had no time to blog. Btw, RunningMan a.k.a RM is freakin' awesome, no doubt! It's damn funny and I watch it all the time when I am too stressed with my work and activities. It's always the best cure after watching horror movies from YouTube, trust me! Okay, sidetracked.

Well, yesterday was a long and tedious day although it was my off day. *note that I mentioned "yesterday" cause it just happened to be 12.30am after I bath, hehe. 

So, yeah I went to view flats and rooms with fellow Indonesian friends : Christee, Marchilia, Shanty, Yely and Fera.

Well, you might be wondering why. We agreed to live together for the next when they study in Singapore. Due to the urgency as their school will be unofficially starting on 13 Sept, so they had no choice but to find somewhere to stay before we move to Jurong East (most probably) this Nov. 

At first when I heard that Fera is joining us, honestly I was reluctant. However, cv told me that they had agreed. Okay can. Then, I tried to recall my relationship with Fera. Well, we talked before, though just few sentences. I cannot really recall the reason why, but I had some impression that she was just an unfriendly fellow and.... arrogant maybe???

I felt so bad about Marchi. She was sort of "outcasted" ever since she had that vague relationship with John. Heard that they were somehow dating though they hadn't admitted even once, but action speaks louder than words, true? When we were walking and inside the train and bus, I noticed that most of them were engaged in their group conversation except for Marchi. It seemed that she was alone, so I naturally started to engage conversation with her. Well, I wasn't sure if she enjoyed it or was it just because I was too talkactive but we did talk a lot of stuff except for John. This word "John" seemed to be out from her dictionary. Perhaps, it was the most painful wound that someone had ever created within her, I shouldn't probe in too much. Sorry.

I asked CV how is Fera's personality, is she arrogant? She told me "no if you had known her well enough." So, I asked another question "you are saying yes if we are not close?" After observing her for just within 1hour, I can surely tell that she is certainly treated as the "princess" in her family. She seemed to have everything that a normal person with unlimited wants would want to have and she gave me the impression that she likes to spend money without blinking her eye. 

This afternoon when we were shopping at 313@Somerset, she took a branded bag which I valued more than $200 and asked the shop assistance few questions. Then Marchi told me that she doesn't know her well but she heard from Shanty that she is a shopaholic. CV told me that she bought a $200 branded bag without telling her mother as well. This question might pop out: "where the hell does she have so much money?"

When Vnhaa joined us, I accidentally asked about her sister "then her boyfriend is staying in Singapore as well?" I was kind of surprised when she paused for a while and everyone stared at me. Uhhh what the heck? Then Yely told me that Vnhaa sister's boyfriend is actually Fera's brother. UHHHHH another what the heck? It seems that Fera is the type that don't want to have ties with anyone, someone who think highly of herself. Another bad points to contribute to the summary of her personality. 

She ordered a nuggets set in Burger King. It contains 8(if I wasn't wrong) nuggets, a cup of coke and a packet of fries. However, she took almost 1.5hr to finish her freaking 8 nuggets and played with her IPad. *Show-off Queen* We were all just waiting for her to finish her bloody nuggets so that we can leave to take a tour at SIM. When there are 3 nuggets left and I hinted them "when are we going?", she said "wait for me to finish" with the not sorry, not guilty, I-am-the-king expression. Dafuq? Feel like slapping her. I wasn't trying to rush her, but just to remind her that we were all waiting for her. Then she took forever to finish that 1 final piece and broke it into many parts. Urgghghhhh can't you just fuckin' squeeze the whole thing into your mouth? When I went back from the toilet with Marchi, I still saw that half piece in the box. "FFFFF Can you just freaking eat it?" End up when I laid back and crossed my arm staring at nowhere, she finally asked "You guys not leaving?" DAFUQQQQ then we all said in the same time "waiting for you to finish eating". Guess what she replied "HAHHH? Why never tell me earlier? I've finished eating?" UHHHHH Like we can read your mind like that. Mind you, it was you who said "wait for me to finish my food", end up you finished eating like half an hour ago? Dear, my time is precious. You cannot imagine how much and how hard I wanted to slap her face just now. Walk also walk so slow knowing that we were going to be late and the rest are rushing to take their ferry which was 20mins before that hers. 

When all of us were discussing on how the 5 of them is going to squeeze inside the taxi, Fera mentioned that her ferry is 20mins later than the rest. Wow, good news isn't it? I suggested to CV "why don't the 4 of you take taxi then she take MRT since hers is later and yall are in rush? Yall don't want to spent money taking 2 taxis right?" CV immediately SHHHHHH-ed me and hinted me with her eye motions. Yeah, I got her hint, Fera wouldn't want. Why? Conclusion: She wanted to take taxi. It even assured me that she is really a 千金大小姐. 

Now I dreaded of staying together with her. I wonder how will our opinion clashes and we'll quarrel. She seemed to have a lot of disatisfaction regarding the flat and house that we viewed. When I wanted to show that I respect her opinion, we asked her how is her opinion, she shrugged her shoulder, not giving an answer when the rest showed approval. What does that show? Uh, like everyone must listen to you? 

So, conclusion: I don't like her even more. Hate her attitude. Attitude problem. I swear that she is going to face a lot of friendship problem. Much much much more than me. I can make sure that beside of CV and Desmond(maybe?), no one would ever be willingly to be in the same group as her for project. Hey Fera, you should be thankful that you've got CV and Desmond in the same class as you, if not, don't ever wish that anyone would make friends with you(I'm talking about Singaporean). Seriously, hateful one, spoiler. 

Mugging In Action

Hi guys, it's me back with a new post. I have not been posting new stuff lately though I've got a lot of things to say. A lot has been happening lately, as usual... Alright. Now is officially 5.17am and I'm still awake since yesterday's 9.30am. You might be wondering why. Cause I actually slept at 8.30pm 2 nights before. Due to the long sleep, I'll probably forget about sleeping for now. 

Mugging for my MIEC though. You know what an idiot I've been? I thought the paper is on Wednesday, but I just found out like 4 or 5 hours ago that it's on Tuesday 2.30pm which is like, 9 more hours from now? So, obviously I haven't finished studying yet. Doing last minute memorising as usual. Let's pray hard that I'll pass this with flying colours, alright? Thanks! :D

By the way, the reason why I'm not prepared though the 1 week study break is over is because I've been working during the weekends and holidays. During work, I was too tired that I spent most of the time sleeping instead of focus on working and studying. Hell Yeah, I thought I got 1 more days to prepare myself. Besides, I could do nothing except for watching running man and other dramas. How??? I'm damn addicted to Running Man right now. Somebody save me!!!!

Gah!!! Alright. I shall continue studying now. Bye guys! 

Gloomy Friday

I've been coping like shit with school and studies lately. Nevertheless, I will never ever abandon my dramas, tehee. :D 

Just finished watching Secret Garden lately, it was damn nice omg. Hyun Bin is damn handsome and childish inside LOL but he's damn cuteyyy! Okay, my disease is here again whenever I talk about K-actors hahaha.

Btw, just a month ago, I've also finished watching King 2 Hearts and RE-watch Rooftop Prince. Lee Seung Gi is another one! Gahhhhhhhhh. Guess what?! He's coming to Singapore this month!!!!! But why the price so exxxxx like $160+ ?? and when I'm broke somemore.

This month is a though one. NP just sent me a mail one week ago stating that the school will deduct school fee amounted to $937.00 from my GIRO account on 20 sth of this month. I was desperate looking for money. I've only got $300 left in sis' account, auntie couldn't lend me much, at most $200-$300.

Okay, you should be wondering what's going on with my family there, why I've never mentioned about asking for money from them. My mom has given me all her personal savings for me to survive until today. So, I'm not going to add another burden to her anymore as she couldn't do much. On top of that, when I told her about this, she told me that they just signed for another bank loan. The previous bank loan has taken my family 3 tough years to pay back. Not again? Dad needs to find money to pay for the rental there. I know that he's damn stressed, that's why I never call him and told him about this school fee thingy. He cannot even pass me $300 that he suggested to borrow from Crystal, what to do? I settled myself bit by bit. 

Thought that I'll be anticipating this month's pay, after calculation, I've got to pay this and that and I'm left with nothing again. Omg so broke!!! :((((((

If he got money, he'll surely call me and try to pass me the money. Since that there's no news from him, I could confidently conclude that I shouldn't hope much from him. So like my mom and my aunt have suggested, I went to make a call to Linda and asked if I could get my pay in advance yesterday. She told me that she'll help me ask Mr. Liu. Till now, she hasn't called me back yet. Still waiting. This process took soooo long. 

Tonight I'll reach home quite late. It's Friday, Come on! My lesson ends at 1pm but I need to work 1 hour @SSC (supposedly to be 4 hours, but I've covered so many people's shift for the past few days, hence deducted). Then I still need to stay until 6pm for INFA test till 7pm. Continued by Rotaract Club what "Installation and Induction Ceremony". Till now, I still don't have a clear idea of what's that ceremony about. They said it's something like you need to say the pledge thingy? Okay can? That ceremony will last for 2 hours starting from 7pm which means that I could reach NP bustop only around 9.30pm? Then I'll reach home at around 10+. Then I shall continue watching the Secret Garden on Ch.U! Hahaha. They translated the "Kim, Su an.... blah x3" chant until damn nice LOL. Must watch! 

Alright, forgot to mention. Actually, I'm in the midst of INFA lecture @LT45 right now! Hahahaha. Alright, bye guys, keep you updated! Have a nice day ! :)