To My BFF：Elvi

亲爱的 Elvi,

我发现其实我还有很多很多事情想跟你说。相处的时间实在是太短了。我真的真的不知道到底要从哪里说起。说实在的，来到新加坡之后，我真的没有真正的快乐过。我无法在这里找到像你们这些朋友。严格上来说，其实我没有真正朋友。也许有吧，可是就是那几个而已。而且那几个都已经跟我上不一样的学校了，走不一样的路了。相信一定会疏远。 在新的学校，我无法交新朋友，也无法像在和你们聊天说笑的时候这么的自然。

当初要做下来新加坡的决定实在很难，因为我几乎每天都在担心。担心我们的友情是否会有变化，担心我们下次再一起的时候还能不能和从前一样。我真的真的很舍不得你们。也许你们从来都不知道，你们在我中学期的影响很大很大。也是因为有了你们，认识了你们，我的过去才那么的美好。谢谢你们曾经走进我的世界里。我曾不后悔认识你们，因为当时的我是真正的快乐。但还好，因为新加坡和印尼其实也不是很远，所以我都会想办法常常回去。而且，也因为有了Facebook Group 的关系，大家还是有话聊。再加上你们都还在同一间学校读书，天天见面，感情还是很好。我感到很荣欣也很开心，因为我知道每当我说我要回去印尼时，你们不管多忙也会抽空跟我一起出去。我不知道对你来说，现在我还算不算是你的好朋友，因为我在新加坡的这三年，你可能已经有新的好朋友了。可是，对我来说，你还是我的很好很好的朋友。

可是现在一想到大家真的要分离了，要去Jakarta, Bandung, Bali 的都有。心中有一种恐惧，害怕在未来的日子里大家都会改变，不知以后能够多常见面，不知以后见面还能不能像目前一样。以前我有什么心事都会跟你讲，不知以后还有没有这个机会。因为电话费，朋友，个人变化，种种因素有可能会造成我们以后见面就只是"Hi-Bye" Friend 了。

可不可以答应我，以后不管怎样，每年一定要见一次面？我是认真的哦，像这次我为你们偷偷瞒着我父母回去就能够看得出你们对我有多重要，我是多么的认真。我真的真的会很想念你们的。

记得去到那边要好好照顾自己哦，多注意身体，读书别读过头，一定要常常联络。最容易的就是去create Skype, 哈哈。Create 好了，每晚有空我们就可以上网，常常向对方分享点点滴滴。有心事要找人聊天的时候，我一直都会在。

最后，我想说的是我真的真的很爱你哟！！！！！谢谢你做我的朋友，至少一直到现在！

一路顺风，珍重再见。

你的好友 Christina

29th April - Bring Back Memories

On the 27th April, Charto, Susanto and Zenorega went back to Batam after spending 3days vacation in Singapore. They reminded me that my best friend, Christee Veronica was going to celebrate her birthday on 29th April with those 老朋友 which includes Elvi, Betseline, Charto, Jimmy, Richard Lie, Desmond Kwok, William Wijaya aka. WW, etc. Those people are so important because they had came into my life, being a part of my life, be it during Secondary 3 or when I've already moved to Singapore or even now and in the future. I really hoped that they would really be an important part of me in the future, I trully hoped so. 

However, I knew that there is a point of time whereby we really need to part, choose our own path and pursue our own dreams. These all need a price, which is "friends". 

Elvi and Betseline have decided to study at an University in Bandung, WW is going to Jakarta, Jimmy is going to Bali, while the rest are coming to Singapore. Everyone is going to split from a few months time.

When I know that  my dearest best friend, Christee was going to throw a birthday party in the form of BBQ, I really really wanted to surprise her. This was how I actually started my idea. :)

On 27th April 2012 (the SMS conversation between me and Susanto) :

Santo  : Eh, Charto blg  cv maw traktir nanti Sabtu. Kamu diundang ga?

Me     : Iya yah? Undang pun I jg ga bisa pergi lah.

(after thinking of an alternative for a while)

Me     : Sebenarnya bisa sih, kecuali I besok naik ferry ke Batam truz naik last ferry balik Sg coz Minggu I   
            ada kerja. 

Me     : Eh, sebenarnya bisa loh. Aku jadi serius nih hahaha.
Santo  : Serius kamu?
Me     : Ya lah, haha. Awalnya sih asal bilang aja, tapi habis tuh makin di pikir makin serius leh. hahaha

So that's how everything started. Me and my plan. I was just saying it for fun in the beginning, however the feeling gets stronger and stronger as it might really be the very last time for me meeting those who are not going to continue their further studies in Batam or Singapore. I was really scared and desperate to meet them. I knew that I would regret a lot if I did not do so. 

So, I eventually used my own money and went back on 29th April where Christee actually celebrated her birthday. I felt so honoured to have so many friends went to fetch me, LOL. I wasn't informed that Desmond and Ww were actually fetching me also. I only knew that Betseline would fetch me for sure, so I waited for her and left with her until Desmond they all called me. Haha. It was damn awkward moment, thanks to Charto's 'thoughtful' arrangement?

At the night, Christee was really really surprised with my appearance. I sneaked into her house when the rest ruled her out of the house and I appeared when the time was right. Yeah, she cried. She did cried and it made everything worth it for my trip. After all, I took risk to go back. 
Firstly, I did not inform my parents. 
Secondly, I used my own money, so I might struggle with my finance position this month. 
Thirdly, I would be taking 1st ferry back the next day whereby I had school at 9am, so I MIGHT or might NOT be late. 


Anyway, it was really worth it and I did not regret it. At all. 

We started to eat and started catching up with each other, talking about our future and our thoughts, then we finally decided to lepak somewhere where the thought of Inul Vista struck us. I envy them because they could drive already, and we set off with three cars to Nagoya Hill. We sang happily, mostly Korean songs and Western Song I think? Not even a single Chinese song because the time was short it was already 11pm local time. We discussed where to go next to lepak so that we could really spend the last night together. 

Eventually, not all of us could make it though, cause they had curfew as well.

I, Christee, Elvi, Betseline, Ww and Charto decided to stayover at Betseline's house. We talked all the way till 3.30am local time and I was about to crash. Charto had slept earlier on. When I woke up at 4.15am, the rest were still talking except for Charto, sleeping like a pig in the room beside, Haha.

Early in the morning, they all sent me to harbour at Batam Centre together with Richard Lie. I really really appreciated it and I still could not help it but to cry at the last 5minutes thinking that I needed to check-in very soon and I would not be able to meet Elvi and Betseline anymore. I knew that. In the end, we parted, and I continued to cry on the ferry. I really really could not help it. Without them, my Secondary 3 in Yos Sudarso would have been really meaningless. The rest helped me and let me feel the happiness of having friends who really care about you. 

Lastly, I REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU GUYS. *cry again*

At Christee's house, creating documentary but a bit fail. 

At Betseline's house. Christee was the only one not inside because she went to bath.

I think I will not just stop here, I'll make new posts for every and each of them to thank them personally. I guess? I want to really really show them my appreciation and let them know how much I love them and create those memorable and unforgettable memories. 

Dissapointment

I went to purchase my order for textbook with him yesterday. Though it was a short 20mins perhaps? It was enough with the fact that he has brightened up my day. I went back home to relax a while before heading to Lechelle's house to give tuition. I was quite shocked when her mother asked if I wanted to teach her English. I wonder if her mom realised that I wasn't a Singaporean. I told her that I would consider it though.

Had a lecture early in the morning at 9am which lasted for 2hours after which I went to have lunch with Junwei and Nghia. Followed after that, Junwei and I headed to OurSpace to slack for a little while. He left around 12.30pm for his lecture while I was busy downloading MVs to be converted to MP4 and finally Sya replied my message! However, the content and our topic started to turn into disappointment for me as she was trying to persuade me so that I could forget about my EC. Anyway, she was looking for evidence that he wasn't interested at all. I knew that and in the fact, I was the one who kept on denying for him and stated that he did not seem to be interested in me AT ALL. In fact, I did think about it, but I kept on lying to myself and Sya made me realise about this again. I wasn't angry with her, really, coz she had said nothing wrong. I know that I should give up, but the feeling of admiring someone you really like was just that awesome. I did not have this type of feeling before and this is just amazing. I knew that she was not intending to spoil my mood but I just could not help but to keep on thinking about it. It was bothering me, I wouldn't deny. I'm the type that if I like a person, I'll just keep on liking that person for a very long period of time, sometimes even 2 years? Yeah, ikr, that was stupid but I couldn't help to do so. 

I was just looking for excuses for him. He would never initiate to have lunch or dinner or to have an outing together, not even started any conversations on Facebook or SMS before. However on the other hand, he has never rejected helping me and seemed to enjoy each and every conversation we had, obviously I was the one who started them every time. However, having a good time chatting made me think that it was paid off. I felt like a dumb who had been cheated in relationships and friendships especially for don't know how many thousands of times, but I just never learnt. Alright, I did learn something okay? but I couldn't control myself to repeat the same mistake. One of them which is liking someone that would never or most probably wouldn't like me back. Idiot right? How I envy those couple whereby they liked each other and ended up together, how fated they are. It had just never happened on me before, NEVER, not even once. Either the person I liked did not fancy me or the person who was interested in me but I wasn't. It was really hard to even find one person that could make your heartbeat raced. That's the only fact I know. Whenever I see him, be it coincidentally or not, I would be very hyped up and sometimes even became nervous for no reason as my hands would shake uncontrollably. I would also hear my heart beats very fast. That type of feeling was the one that I had never experienced before, really. 

I have no idea how to let go and I wouldn't want to because I know the next time I see him, the history will repeat itself. How I wish~

2nd Day of School @NP

This morning when I was sleeping, I waited for Junxian to morning call me so that I would not be late for our breakfast @Munch. However, while I was half sleeping, I felt that something itchy was crawling on my leg. So, I naturally went and grabbed it with the intention to scratch my leg with my hands. Surprisingly, I felt something rather hard and as big as my thumb size, I took a look while it was still quite dark. To my surprise, it was a cockroach. I was like WTF and swept it hard immediately with my naked hands. I felt so disgusted and spent the rest of the 10minutes staring at my leg. It was really damn freaking disgusting, I swear. At that moment, I knew that Junxian did not need to morning call me anymore. After 10mins staring, the cockroach reappeared from small corner and I faster took broom to sweep it away. Thereafter, I faster went to wash my leg and hands. I really really really felt disgusted. 

While I was on the way to school on MRT from Dover to Clementi, the train stopped halfway and I had a bad instinct. The operator announced this "This train will stop here as the train ahead is at the next station." I realised that the train still did not move even after 3mins of waiting time. After that, the operator started to announce again "This train would be delayed as there is a train fault ahead.Sorry for the inconvenience caused." There was a really awkward silence in MRT and I could also hear them sighing. Thanks goodness I went to school earlier eventhough our lecture is at 9am. If not, I would be late already. Another 9mins passed and the train finally moved. I could tell from the crowd at Clementi MRT station that everyone was very impatient waiting for the train.
Entered the lecture hall punctually, today's lesson is very slack, but the lecturer is very boring. Everyone wasn't paying attention and I was totally in internet world. After a while, I decided to blog about it and take some pictures.

Damn sian in the class. This is my lecture hall! :) Able to fit max 250students.

Trying to act cute but did not dare to overdo it coz lecturer is talking. Pshhhh~

Quite ugly ah, but still decided to upload it

Looking at lecturer

Class ended fast. Finally can take a nice one.

I went to CCA Fiesta with Junwei and I immediately signed up for Rotaract Club. I did not really have a clear idea about what's the CCA about. However, it is roughly something like Community Service within Singapore. They do go overseas but once in a blue moon. The most important part was that their events are all during weekends or weekdays (PH) so it wouldn't clash with my other CCA. Cool! I need not worry about joining BA envoys anymore. 

Slacked with fellow Outramians: JingQuan, Derrick and Junwei at OurSpace. I had never had this much fun talking, laughing with them, especially the part where JingQuan and I would shoot back each other. I really really miss that.

Additional info from Aaron, he told us that Glenn actually kinda told him that whoever interviewed will be accepted into BA Envoys cause they kinda lack of members. In other words, once you apply to join, go for interview, you'll be promised for a position in BA Envoys! Wow. Sounds promising! :)

Around 3pm, I joined back 979, decorated birthday card for XinYing followed by 4pm, Abygail, JunXian and I went to Somerset Fossil to buy for XinYing's birthday present, a $109 wallet. After which, we returned to school and I waited for 979 to finish their Dance For Fun practice at Dance Studio. 
Afterwhich, they all went to Munch to have dinner together and OMG I SAW JS! Never regretted coming here with them! XDDDDD I went over to remind him about what time to meet tomorrow which I actually did not need to do so as I've already told him. It was kinda my excuse to go say Hi and talk to him. OMG I think I'm crazy LOL. Anyway, kinda can tell that he's quite sociable and popular as he's always surrounded by friends, most of the time girls. He said that he was neither low profile or high profile before, who knows? It's not surprising to find that he's high profile to me. Yeap, anyway, history repeats itself. I was busy surfing the net while the rest were eating. Another corner of my eyes will uncontrollably look at him as well. He was chatting away happily with another girl and guy sitting together with him. It's okay, looking at people you fancy from far apart could bring you happiness also, sometimes. So near, yet so far.

1st Day of Official School

WOHOOOO I was like so damn excited for today, official first day of Poly. Dread of cannot survive in Poly and would ended not up to my expectation, I still decided to come to Poly. 

I feel so proud to be a student of Ngee Ann! :)

Damn nice right? Nature is Beauty. ^^

There were different sayings, some say that Poly life is really relaxing, which makes people despise Poly students. My seniors say when it comes to study, we must really study and not to slack, but when it comes to fun, we just need to play hard. 

Right, my aunt is classified in the stereotype thinking, she kept on saying that Poly is very relaxing and seemed to find every single evidence to make me stop my excuses of being busy after enrolled in Poly. My Mom too. She just seemed not being able to accept the fact that I've spent long hours in school for the past 1week for the sake of BAOC preparation. So, what could I do? I talked back to her, as usual. 

Right, that's not the point. Anyway, my lecture starts at 9am and lasted for 2hours. I was supposed to wait for Crystal to pass me money to purchase my textbooks at 1pm and collect with JS. :) 

However, the plan was kinda ruined because Crystal's ATM card was stuck inside Clementi MRT station's ATM machine. So, I told JS to go home and I stayed at OurSpace@72 without knowing what to do. I ended up taking out my 那些年 DVD (:D) and watched it until 3.30pm. The rest of my DPA friends went ahead after lecture to Orchard Road to buy for XinYing's birthday present. Then I regretted for not joining them. I ate alone @Munch. Seriously, I had never ever felt so awkward of eating alone before. Not even once when I have done a lot of times before. 
The briefing ended up damn boring, started with ice-breaking games which has no more meaning for us, obviously as we DPA class never split. However, my classmates somehow acted dumb and pretended to not knowing us to make fun of the seniors LOL. Anyway, the whole main point of the briefing is to bond us and to brief us roughly about academic matters. Really damn freaking boring. I fell asleep eventually even though I prevented myself from doing so. The most epic part was that I was shocked and became wide awake after I heard "you can only be accepted into local Uni if your O level English is <3". I was like WTS WTH WTF? DAFUQQQQ? Seriously. I only got B4. Then my classmates started to discuss about retaking it by this year which was already too late because the application date was already closed. They were afraid that English system would change more if we drag. 
I asked Crystal not to wait for my briefing to finish as mine would only end at 6pm while hers at 4pm. I went for dinner with fellow DPA classmates at KAP. Seriously, if it wasn't because of Huimin and Aaron, I might have left 979 for good. Somehow, they gave me the strength and was the reason of why I still tag along with them because I know that they would not ignore me like what the rest did. And most importantly, they DO understand me.

Anyway, upon writing this blog, I somehow reminded of the fact that my landlady is going back to China on July and will never come back to Singapore anymore. To her, this is kinda a sad land with sad memories. I was informed out of sudden to look for new place and move out as soon as possible. While I was waiting for my Indonesian friends to discuss and settle about the plan of staying together in 1 flat and tacking my mom's cold water bucket saying that I was naive and it wasn't an easy thing to arrange, I am seriously very vexed. Lost, don't know what to do. Alright, it's 11.24pm and I shall end my post here. 
Nights~ Sleep tight.

Birthday Preparation

Tomorrow is HuiYing's birthday, a friend that I've met when I first came to Outram Secondary School. So, she's kinda important to me as she is one of my best friends, who has been there for me a lot of times whenever I need her. She might be the one who has heard my complaints the most, also the one who has been there for me when the whole wide world seems to be opposing me. So yeah, Hoa, Lina, YuShuo and I obviously planned to celebrate birthday for her. 

I set off around 12.15pm yesterday to meet Lina at Dhoby Ghaut to buy Birthday card for HuiYing. We eventually spent very long time at two shops, having a hard time to choose for the best design. As you can see, there are really lots of design @PaperWorks.

The pictures are quite blur because I was not too sure if photographing is allowed or not. Haha

These are the cards that have went through the 1st selection by me. :)

and I liked this "Rock-A-Bye-Baby" card the most. Damn cute with the notes. Huiying loves music. ^^

After selecting for damn long, we decided to move on to another shop which I did not take note of the name. They also have a lot of designs and we finally picked our favourites and planned to combine two cards together. At the end of the day, we bought just two cards and a colourful thread. Basically, that's all. We had decided to make use of the materials we had and to decorate it with our creativity. Seriously, I love artwork. 

So, we moved on to Lina's hostel to get things started.

It was a total mess at the start coz we have no idea how to start with doing it.

We cut of the letters from Present Perfect Magazine to form "Happy Birthday" for the card.

Still choosing which one to cut

Arranging the newspapers

Newspapers which we burnt the sides

That's me! :) A bit unglam, yeah ikr.

Yeah, I've filled up the top left hand side while Lina wrote on the top left hand side

Made by me with the colourful thread. Nice, right? Love this part the most. 

Finally done at the end of the day.

By the time we finished everything, it was already like 8.30pm? Damn tiring but I've got a great sense of accomplishment! :) So excited for tomorrow's outing. Really really love the birthday card to the max. Good night. :D

Tired

This morning was a disaster. Good Friday? There are tons of SMS and Email to clear as soon as I reach my workplace. Thanks Goodness I wasn't late. If I were late, it would have been the end for me. 

The queue was long like hell and all full-timers and supervisors were handling the "war" outside while I was fighting myself without allies. While I was in the midst of clearing the SMS, Richard has been entering inside constantly asking me to help him change this and help him to change that. Couldn't he see that I was freaking busy?

While I helped him to do stuff whenever he walked in, I need to beware of miss-booking. Any miss-booking would cause disaster this morning as everyone was very vexed. Same goes to me. While I was busy reading the message, the stupid phones just couldn't stop ringing. The callers were all very determined. After a while, Elaine came in and asked me to help her to staple the receipt with the tickets. I told her I would do for her later, but my later ended up like forever. Siti finally came around 11am and she helped me to staple them around 12pm? The queue was finally cleared. My SMS and Emails too. Lady bosses were also around, increasing my level of stress. Everyone came in to "borrow" my computer. 

My stomach was growling non-stop but I couldn't have time to grab a bite. Who has the mood to do so during the war? Thankfully, lady boss treated us lunch. Mac lunch WHOOoo! By that time, I was almost K.O. already. I was going to crash. As soon as my work ends, I raced back home, throw all my clothes into washing machine, pressed the start and crashed to my beloved bed. That nap was awesome, as if I've slept for 10years LOL (exaggerating). Today is just too awesome. TGIF LOL.