I'm finally back after disappearing for like 9mths? Okay, so throughout this 9mth, many things had definitely happened to me. Somehow, I tend to be quite negative these days. All I could think of are those sad, disappointing and embarrassing moments.
Well, shall keep you updated of what's going on with me nowadays. #leggo
FAMILY
Family.... Hmmm. Nothing much has changed between my r/s with my mom..... I just don't know how to fill up those gaps anymore, during the time when we were separated bcos of me studying in Singapore. Somehow, she seems to be very distant to me. I really do not know how to kill the time when I'm alone with her other than watching pre-downloaded videos on my phone.... I just miss those days when we were so close. Or is it just me? cos I finally found somewhere that I think I really belong to? I love everything everyone here. There is a voice occasionally whispering to me, kind of wanting to to stay further from her. But well, the next moment, I regretted how I've hurted her. Those times that I talked back to her, put her in the last priority after my friends, find her irritating and burdensome, and the worst.... wished that I could sever ties with her. I'm really sorry mom, I know that you just love me but I'm in my rebellious age that I couldn't express how I feel really well to you.
Dad? Hmmmm. Okay, there has been something like this ever since I heard of the death of my sec school's friend. I just can't help but to tear whenever I think about the moments that my dad and I had missed, since childhood. Nowadays, he seems to be very very lonely. I mean, a 60yrs old father (YES HE'S THAT OLD ALREADY) has yet to get the acknowledgement from his family. I mean.... Idk.... I can't help but to sympathise him. Most dads have probably retired by now and enjoying their life at home, but he has to work so hard in the field, and sometimes in the middle of the sea every day. I feel really sorry for him. Recalling how dark his face has became, his countless wrinkles that show, his fragile look whenever I return back home have never failed to ache my heart. I wish that I could spend more time with him now, but things are just not the same anymore. The one thing that I couldn't say out bravely : "I love you and wish to turn back the time, dad. You deserve another chance."
Alright, enough with those emotions. My sis is getting married WOHOOOO! Yes, and I'll be her only bridesmaid this 27 Dec '14 heheheheh :D But I guess, we're going to be even more distant then... :( (oh great, I'm back with this emotion again :/)
And oh, we are finally moving house at Batam! Like really own one, this time is really OURS ok. Since we've been renting houses all this while. But the funny thing is that our house kinda get smaller and squeezier every single time we move house. This time is not exceptional either.
Alright, that's all for today! Yes, I mainly focused on family to avoid too lengthy post LOL. Will continue with the rest of the updates soon! See you guys then! :D Off for a night run #leggo
